Except now, in the backseat of the police cruiser, bathed in sweat and locked in handcuffs, she recognized the cunning of the gods. They’d put that notion in her head to confuse her. Trotted out their hoops for her to leap through. Now that she was in anger, only one hoop remained. They’d meant it to be so tantalizing after her journey that she’d leap just once more, without thinking. Fortunately, anger burned away the deception. It left the truth in its ashes: that denial was a false destination, a lie the gods had whispered in her ear on a Sanibel beach.
But the lie had its value. Pursuing it brought her to the hot ecstasy of anger and all its potential. It brought her a new vision, for a new Kak, with power beyond anything she’d ever felt. Power to feel good for the first time in a year. To feel great. To feel—invincible.
To hell with her heart. All she had to do was stop short of denial. Keep anger. Out with the old Kak. Best forgotten in light of the possibilities ahead. In with the new Kak. To rule her world on her terms. To say it like it was. Live as she pleased. Marry well. And slide her toes into the cool Aruba sand.
She let her head rest against the seat and listened to the voice. It said, ‘and it was in this manner that anger would come to replace bargaining.’